I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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