but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
