omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When did angry sex become our thing?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
