fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
