i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
