During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
