today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
