His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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