last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
