before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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