Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
