so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
