I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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