shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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