just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize