There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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