You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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