i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
