we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
