Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
