I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
