he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
