What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
