I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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