five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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