Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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