It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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