omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
