So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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