Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
