let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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