It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
