big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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