he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
