I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
