So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
