Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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