Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
