she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
