I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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