pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
