we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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