In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
