question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
