I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
