it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
