But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
