A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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