she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
