hotel room ftw
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
