You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
