Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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