Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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