A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dicks are not precious.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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