This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
