i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
