Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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