he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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