We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
