i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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